negative mindset

How do you stop being lonely?

| Nancy

What you gain when you get at the source of it.

When you free yourself from your problems’ real culprit, you will be free of the issues.

When you get rid of what or who is pulling strings to your unhappiness and pain, you have a real chance to be happy.

If what is pulling the strings of the loneliness you have been experiencing is expunged from your life, you will no longer experience the loneliness for too long.

As I mentioned before, what’s causing your loneliness is not being alone.  The pain you are experiencing is not coming from those things you think, but they are coming from within you.  Those feelings that you are having are not out of your control.  You have all the power in the world over the emotions that you experience, loneliness included. You exert that power by first knowing you have it, then learning how to get free of what weighs you down, strengthening the muscles you have forgotten, and then using those very muscles to be the boss of your emotional life, including loneliness.

1) When you come to believe you are lovable,

When you have come to know that you are lovable, you will no longer allow people who are less than well-intentioned to remain in your inner circle of life.  Your heart now knows what your head had known or suspected all along. You don’t dwell in unnecessary feelings of guilt and trust your decisions and desires, and are in a regular practice of following those inner instructions.  Your second nature is to trust yourself with love, kindness, and self-compassion.  Your subconscious mind is your best friend, not your foe.

You will give of yourself and your loyalty to those who genuinely deserve you and your dedication.

You will emanate a definite sense of self, attract your like, and welcome those positive, reliable selves into your life.  This will reinforce your subconscious and conscious mind the realness, the valid-ness, and the rightness of true self-love that you feel inside you.

2) When you come to know that you are enough just as you are,

When you see that you are enough, good enough, and valid, you open up your life to the real possibilities of life.  

You will not dwell in insecurities or think or feel negative judgments of yourself in comparison to others.

You will be in charge of your emotions and become self-aware and open to be curious about the emotional and spiritual atmosphere around you, close and far. 

Bullies will lose its power in your life.

You begin genuinely winning at life, competing against you with a team and allies who are also you.

Nothing holds you back emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

3) When you begin to connect to yourself and your world,

You become aware of your needs and wants and get into a regular practice of meeting them and enjoy the sense of calm, peace, and joy.

You move through your time and space with calm courage and allowance of wonder and possibility.  You become tuned into your creativity and oneness.  

You realize that you belong.

4) When you become free from a negative mindset and victim mindset,

You become the boss of your life. 

You no longer have reasons to feel miserable about things that you do not have control over.   You focus on what you have the power to control, and that practice deepens your self-empowerment. 

The remarkable aspect of having this “hero’s mindset” is that having real power over your life is habit-forming.  You will naturally take on more and more of your hero’s ways.

You become addicted to working on making things that you want to happen.

You see life’s games and become addicted to the thrill of solving the riddles and tackling the game and winning.

5) When you are living your purpose, doing your life’s work,

When you are on your life’s path, acting on your passion, making a positive difference in the world, as we are all meant to do, you are living the truest and happiest life.

Your life will be filled with passion and creativity.  You will experience the state of flow.

You are doing and living a life that you were born to live, and with it, you have arrived at who you are supposed to be. 

When you are whole, when you are in the state of being the best version of yourself, life becomes boundless. You manifest and create things that you desire with ease.  You are in an optimal state and flow through life with ease.

You will look to an outsider as if you have the Midas touch in all things, and it is because you are whole and therefore have the excess to the best version of everything that is you in this universe.

Your relationships, career, health, success, joy, happiness, and everything will be at their best because you are the best version of yourself.

~

In the next blog, I will discuss with you just how you could overcome loneliness.

How to Overcome Loneliness Part #2

| Nancy

This blog, “How to Overcome Loneliness, part 2”, is the second part of the eight-part series to help you overcome loneliness. If you have not read the first one, please read that blog and then come back to this one.

If you don’t resolve the causes of the loneliness, you will continue to experience negative emotions that come with them. You will also remain stuck in adverse living conditions.  You have had those negative conditions for so long that you don’t know how much happier you would be without them, making you miss out on being your full potential self. That means that you will continue to miss out on your true fulfillment. You will also miss out on your best possible life: the Happiness Formula.

The following are the main culprits:
1) You believe you are not lovable.

When you continue to believe you are not lovable, you will continue to allow people who are less than loving to you, confirming your already held belief that you are not.  Your head knows better. You even feel guilty and foolish for putting up with people who treat you less than okay.  You feel bad about the fact that you don’t treat yourself well.  But as long as you do not “KNOW” in your heart, in your subconscious mind that you are, you will continue to believe that you are not, and you will not feel lovable.  And when you don’t feel lovable, your less-than-self-loving-you will continue to allow those people to get into your life and remain there in the comfort of discomfort.

You will continue to feel obligated and dutiful toward those who bring you much more unhappiness than happiness by treating you in far less than kind and loving manner as they do not value you. Since you agree with those people about your value(knowingly or unknowingly), you cannot see that you deserve better. 

You will continue to prematurely reject yourself from potentially positive and beneficial relationships by not entering new ones or leaving them too early avoiding potentially good and loving relationships. Doing that makes it difficult for you to truly learn how to overcome loneliness.

2) You feel not good enough, and not enough

If you don’t gain the knowledge that you are good enough, that you are enough just as you are, you will continue to downgrade yourself in too many ways.  

You will continue to be prone to feeling insecure and less than others.

Others will find you overreacting to things that they do or say. You will continue to give power to others to hurt you, whether they meant to hurt you or don’t mean to hurt you.  

Bullies in your life will continue to have too much power over you. Your belief that you are not enough will continue to win out and keep you under the thumb of oppressive insecurities.

You will continue to hold yourself back from trying things that will stretch and grow you and help you reach emotional, spiritual, and financial success in the way that would feed your life.

3) If you continue to stay disconnected

Not knowing who you really are, your needs, and what your wants are, you will not really know what it means for you to be happy.

You will continue to feel disconnected from your spiritual self.  How could you reach for spiritual connection when you don’t even have your basic connection needs met by being in touch with your core self. How could you gain skills as to how to overcome loneliness, if you do not learn how to connect?

4) You have a negative mindset

You will continue to see life through powerfully unhealthy perspectives of thinking and feeling that most things go wrong for you.  

You will spend too much of your time feeling miserable and untrusting of people, even those who may deserve your trust. Trustworthy good people will continue to leave your life feeling unseen and unappreciated leaving behind plenty of those who are not reliable and not good-intentioned, leading you to unhappy connections in your life.

The problem with this mindset is that it is very addictive.  It isn’t that you are addicted to good feelings, but you become addicted to negative anxiety ridden bad feelings that lead to stress and suffering.  

Your brain becomes normalized by them, and it becomes an easy ride down path, sliding lower and lower in negative states which then creates more profound and deeper roots of negative thinking and feeling habits.

This whole pattern of life is very easy to remain in if you do not change from it.

5) You are continuing not to live your purpose, not doing your life’s work.

If you are not on your life’s path, you will continue to miss out on the real fulfillment that living your purpose gives you.

There will be a deep sense of emptiness inside you, confirming the less than good feelings and esteem that you have about yourself.

You will continue to miss out on the joy that self-fulfillment can only provide.  You are born to experience it.  Without it, you will have a massive void in its place.

6) Not feeling whole; not being your best you. 

If you continue not to feel whole, that continues to manifest adverse outcomes in all areas of your life.

Your life will remain less quality than you would want.  Your relationships, career, health, success, joy, happiness, and everything will be less than you can ever want for your life.

~

In the next blog, I will discuss all the benefits you will gain by freeing yourself from the causes of loneliness.