I spent too many years, too many decades actually, troubled by people who were discouraging and unsupportive of me.
When I was little, I had no power to go against it. When I got older, I tried to get those close to me to be encouraging and positive.
I tried sharing my feelings. I tried asking that they stop being so negative. I tried getting angry. I tried cutting them out of my life for a time.
Nothing worked, and they continued to be unsupportive and discouraging.
Three years ago, I went through a profound emotional learning curve.
I was trying to heal heartbreak and cure whatever it was inside of me that caused me to be in such an unhealthy relationship.
The learning that I did during that time continues to ripple through my inner and outer world.
There are so many things that I don’t do anymore.
One of the things that I don’t do anymore is expecting, wanting, and waiting for others to do things that make me happy.
First, there is not a thing that I can do about what others do or feel.
Second, there is not a thing that I should do about what others do or feel.
We have no power over what others do or feel.
What we have power over is what we do and what we feel.
When we focus our energy on what we do not have the power to affect, we waste our time and energy and cause ourselves misery.
When we focus our energy on what we do have the power to affect, we grow and prosper and cause ourselves to be genuinely happy.
I now focus my energy on things that I have the power to affect.
When you focus your energy and time on things that you have the power to affect, you experience a higher level of happiness and a sense of peace. You also accomplish so much more.
Many who accomplish meaningful things do not wait for other’s support. They just do what they need to and want to do with their lives.
Marcus Aurelius, the greatest emperor of Rome, the author of the Meditations, was the most powerful man in the known world during his lifetime. Many relied on him for his support, while he could not and did not rely on them. No one could understand or match his ambition for good.
Marcus Aurelius worked his hardest to care for his people without expecting anything back for himself, never mind support.
If we genuinely want to be good, as Marcu Aurelius aspired to be every day of his life, we have to place all expectations on ourselves and never on anyone else.
When we do that, the problem of never getting the support of any kind disappears for good.
What is left is your meaning and purpose to drive you to your most authentic best self.