This blog, “How to Overcome Loneliness, part 2”, is the second part of the eight-part series to help you overcome loneliness. If you have not read the first one, please read that blog and then come back to this one.
If you don’t resolve the causes of the loneliness, you will continue to experience negative emotions that come with them. You will also remain stuck in adverse living conditions. You have had those negative conditions for so long that you don’t know how much happier you would be without them, making you miss out on being your full potential self. That means that you will continue to miss out on your true fulfillment. You will also miss out on your best possible life: the Happiness Formula.
The following are the main culprits:
1) You believe you are not lovable.
When you continue to believe you are not lovable, you will continue to allow people who are less than loving to you, confirming your already held belief that you are not. Your head knows better. You even feel guilty and foolish for putting up with people who treat you less than okay. You feel bad about the fact that you don’t treat yourself well. But as long as you do not “KNOW” in your heart, in your subconscious mind that you are, you will continue to believe that you are not, and you will not feel lovable. And when you don’t feel lovable, your less-than-self-loving-you will continue to allow those people to get into your life and remain there in the comfort of discomfort.
You will continue to feel obligated and dutiful toward those who bring you much more unhappiness than happiness by treating you in far less than kind and loving manner as they do not value you. Since you agree with those people about your value(knowingly or unknowingly), you cannot see that you deserve better.
You will continue to prematurely reject yourself from potentially positive and beneficial relationships by not entering new ones or leaving them too early avoiding potentially good and loving relationships. Doing that makes it difficult for you to truly learn how to overcome loneliness.
2) You feel not good enough, and not enough
If you don’t gain the knowledge that you are good enough, that you are enough just as you are, you will continue to downgrade yourself in too many ways.
You will continue to be prone to feeling insecure and less than others.
Others will find you overreacting to things that they do or say. You will continue to give power to others to hurt you, whether they meant to hurt you or don’t mean to hurt you.
Bullies in your life will continue to have too much power over you. Your belief that you are not enough will continue to win out and keep you under the thumb of oppressive insecurities.
You will continue to hold yourself back from trying things that will stretch and grow you and help you reach emotional, spiritual, and financial success in the way that would feed your life.
3) If you continue to stay disconnected
Not knowing who you really are, your needs, and what your wants are, you will not really know what it means for you to be happy.
You will continue to feel disconnected from your spiritual self. How could you reach for spiritual connection when you don’t even have your basic connection needs met by being in touch with your core self. How could you gain skills as to how to overcome loneliness, if you do not learn how to connect?
4) You have a negative mindset
You will continue to see life through powerfully unhealthy perspectives of thinking and feeling that most things go wrong for you.
You will spend too much of your time feeling miserable and untrusting of people, even those who may deserve your trust. Trustworthy good people will continue to leave your life feeling unseen and unappreciated leaving behind plenty of those who are not reliable and not good-intentioned, leading you to unhappy connections in your life.
The problem with this mindset is that it is very addictive. It isn’t that you are addicted to good feelings, but you become addicted to negative anxiety ridden bad feelings that lead to stress and suffering.
Your brain becomes normalized by them, and it becomes an easy ride down path, sliding lower and lower in negative states which then creates more profound and deeper roots of negative thinking and feeling habits.
This whole pattern of life is very easy to remain in if you do not change from it.
5) You are continuing not to live your purpose, not doing your life’s work.
If you are not on your life’s path, you will continue to miss out on the real fulfillment that living your purpose gives you.
There will be a deep sense of emptiness inside you, confirming the less than good feelings and esteem that you have about yourself.
You will continue to miss out on the joy that self-fulfillment can only provide. You are born to experience it. Without it, you will have a massive void in its place.
6) Not feeling whole; not being your best you.
If you continue not to feel whole, that continues to manifest adverse outcomes in all areas of your life.
Your life will remain less quality than you would want. Your relationships, career, health, success, joy, happiness, and everything will be less than you can ever want for your life.
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In the next blog, I will discuss all the benefits you will gain by freeing yourself from the causes of loneliness.