how to heal from abuse

Why your mindset is important for healing from Narcissist abuse or any other abuse

| Nancy

According to Carol S. Dweck, the author of “Mindset”, tells us that there are two mindsets that affect our ability to succeed in healing from painful situations as well as accomplishing great things in our lives.

  1. Fixed mindset
    1. Believes your abilities are inborn and not improvable
    2. Believe healing may not be possible and does not look for ways to heal and be happy
    3. Believe failure is the end and will not try again or will not try if there is a chance at a failure
    4. Cares more about how things look than the experiences
  2. Growth mindset
    1. Believes that challenges or pain can be resolved by looking for away
    2. They look inwards as well as their circumstances to see how they could participate in improving it
    3. When there is any kind of failure, they know that they need to keep working at it to find success at what they are doing
    4. Always looks for a solution

How to be happy and successful after narcissistic abuse

| Nancy

Making life work well depends hugely on where we place our focus.  Healing and becoming happy also depends hugely on where we place our focus.  A simple idea, focus on what you have the power to control instead of focusing on what you have no power to control.

If you apply that principle to becoming happy after an abusive relationship is over, the following are things that you have no control over and you need to stop focusing on them.

  • Trying to understand your abuser
  • Thinking why they did what they did to you
  • Trying to figure out how long the pain will last
  • Thinking and wondering about what your ex is doing
  • Trying to figure out why your ex narcissist is doing anything at all with their lives.

What to focus on if you want to be move on, heal and be truly happy

  • Think about and take action on good self-care routine to be loving to yourself
  • Think about what areas of your life you need to grow so you do not get into an abusive relationship again 
  • Think about what brings you joy and do them
  • Think about what you need to do so that you can meet your true potential in your life
  • Think about the ways that you can learn and practice unconditional self-compassion
  • Think about the ways that you can learn and practice unconditional self-acceptance