According to Carol S. Dweck, the author of “Mindset”, tells us that there are two mindsets that affect our ability to succeed in healing from painful situations as well as accomplishing great things in our lives.
Fixed mindset
Believes your abilities are inborn and not improvable
Believe healing may not be possible and does not look for ways to heal and be happy
Believe failure is the end and will not try again or will not try if there is a chance at a failure
Cares more about how things look than the experiences
Growth mindset
Believes that challenges or pain can be resolved by looking for away
They look inwards as well as their circumstances to see how they could participate in improving it
When there is any kind of failure, they know that they need to keep working at it to find success at what they are doing
You can get over the pain from the Narcissistic relationship or any other pains from your past.
If there is a magic pill that you could take to powerfully feel better after having been abused by a narcissist or any other abuse, would you take it? Would you take it to not only feel better but to change the trajectory that you are on having experienced the things that you have?
I’m here to tell you that there is this magic pill. The magic pill is you.
It sucks to be mistreated. It is horrible. It is a horrific experience to be abused in any way shape or form. But after you grieve for a time, if you hold onto that feeling for too long, you will then begin to damage yourself without knowing that you are.
Here is what you have to do to become happy even if you had painful things that had happened to you in your past.
Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher has said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you.”
The following are things for you to begin thinking about so that you can powerfully and genuinely heal and get free of the pains once and for all.
Difficult and painful things happen to everyone. Carol Dweck, a Social Psychologist and the author of the book, “Mindset” & Martin Seligman of “Flourish” both agree that how a person reacts to pain and trauma determines how the healing takes place.
The people who heal and thrive go into a mode of growth, look for what they can learn and how they can heal and get happy
The people who get stuck in pain, end up with PTSD do not know that they have a choice so they get stuck.
This means that healing is in your hands.
Carol Dweck talks about the clients who set their goal to heal and find happiness are the ones who immediately go into the mode of learning about themselves to see what it is about themselves that they can grow and change so that they do not enter a bad situation again. You can do the same and finally heal.
What you can do now, is to begin actively looking into what it is that you must learn about the pain that you are going through, and learn about yourself. Keep asking questions like, “what do I need to learn so that I can move on from this? Then do whatever you have to do and learn whatever you have to learn about yourself to break loose from the pain that you are stuck in right now.