breakup coach Archives - Heal Your Heart & Find Your Life

Even if the relationship was bad and it did not give you what you needed, all breakups are often very difficult. It is the end of a dream you shared. It is the end of how your life has been with that person. It is the end of what you’ve grown used to and felt comfort in. It feels like the end of your world and feels like it because it truly is an end of one world, the world that you had been a part of with that person. With all of that there also is the biological instinct that we all still have from our cavemen days when belonging to a group meant survival, so separating from your partner brings up those old feelings of fear that feels like fear of death.

Here is the thing.

Even though you might feel like there is no end to this pain and if you do feel that way, you just joined the whole of the population of the human race who has gone through it. Many are going through it somewhere out there on this earth. But if you might be forgetting something. Unless this is your very first heartbreak, you know that you will get over it and you will have a chance at a new life again. In the meanwhile, let me share with you a few things that you could do to make your journey maybe just a little smoother and make it worthy of your time If you can learn something from this journey, you will certainly be better off for it.

First and foremost, do not indulge in any criticism of whatever pains that you might feel and whatever thoughts you are having. This is a time of self compassion, self empathy and self understanding and an unconditional self love. Realize that everything that you are feeling is a normal human reaction. It is also a very normal stage of grieving that you are going through so just allow yourself the room to feel and don’t let yourself judge it in any shape or form. Just simply give yourself compassion and love.

You must keep up the constant focus on self compassion during this time. You cannot do too much of that.

Second, focusing on self care is very beneficial. It is a must. It is something I strongly encourage my broken heart healing coaching clients as a foundation of our healing work together. It is that important and that beneficial.

Self care practice to remember are:

Exercise first thing in the morning every day to get your day started empowered.
Drink plenty of water
Eat plenty of proteins and fresh vegetables and fruit (Eat nutrient-rich, unprocessed foods)
Do something that makes your heart smile, for me that is singing & drawing
Avoid Alcohol during this pivotal time because it will make you feel chemically depressed the next day

Next is Self-reflection work. It is best to refrain from thinking about why your ex did anything or why your ex is anything. There is nothing you can do about your ex or why they are the way they are or why they did what they did. Those thoughts are a waste of your time and energy.

What you must focus on is why you stayed with an abusive person and what you must work on in yourself to grow and heal so that you do not enter a relationship like that one again.

How to best deal with the loneliness after a breakup – advice from a life coach.

When someone close to you is gone from your life, the loss is painful. When a romantic partner is gone from your life, the loss can be far more intense.

Here are six things that you can do to overcome the loneliness that you are going through from a broken heart.

Decide to learn about yourself and grow from this experience
1. Carol Dweck in her book, “Mindset” talks about the people who heal powerfully versus people who remain hurt for years and years. The ones that heal powerfully most often look inward after a breakup to see what they could learn about themselves so that they do not repeat the same mistake with their next partner. Their goal is to heal and find happiness and they heal and find happiness.
If you have a support system that you trust, share with them what you are going through
1. Some people may lose connection with their support network while in a relationship, especially if it was a controlling or abusive one. This is a time for you to work on reconnecting with your tribe to find yourself back again with those who truly care about you.
2. If you do not have a group that you trust, begin building and nurturing a tribe of your own.
Have an adventure
1. Do something that allows you to stretch your image of you. When you take on something that you had been intimidated by, it can let you see a new dimension about you so that you can gain self-appreciation
Seek out people who inspire you.
1. Instead of drowning in self-pity that everyone can get into during this time, surround yourself with voices of people who when you are around them or listening to their talks or reading their words, elevates your aspirations to lead you to reach for self-growth.
Help someone in the way that you love helping someone
1. If you are serving soup in a soup kitchen, you might be a person that gets touched by that experience but you may not be. I love helping people heal emotionally so when I am helping someone with their emotional wounds, I am inspired. But for you, it might be teaching someone how to paint, play music, play baseball. Whatever it is that you like teaching or helping people do, do that.
Get a breakup coach
1. If you’re having a hard time doing it alone, hire a breakup coach(life coach who specializes in healing heartbreaks) so that you can actively work on healing yourself.

Finally, what you need to know is that it is up to you, how long the lonely period lasts or how fast you heal. Be patient with yourself as you move up and down through the emotional roller coasters and know that if you do the right type of work, you will gain powerful stuff from this lonely experience after a heartbreak.