After you write that book(or anything else: letter, essay, book, etc.) that you do, there is one more thing that you must do to complete your hero’s journey.
You now can teach one or more people how to do what you have done to heal yourself.
Our world has a pandemic of loneliness.
As you now see, the pain of loneliness is misunderstood by many.
When you teach others what has helped you, you are changing our world. You are healing our world.
You are making this world a better place.
What if everyone who reads this book does just that? What do you think could take place in our world?
We would have a different world.
We would have a changing world.
We would have a healing world.
I am sure you see that our world is in desperate need of true healing.
What if our world can heal by all of us helping another to heal?
What if small acts of a continual and consistent habit of kindness can heal our whole world, one person at a time?
What if that is true?
What if we can change our world?
What if we can heal our world?
What if this is the time to heal our world?
All the chaos, hurt, pain, fights, misunderstanding, all of the mountains of things that have been taking place in recent history is an indication that it is time?
Why should some be so poor as others live so posh? Why should some live happy while others drown in pain?
When we could make it better, why not? What if it is time that we no longer put up with those conditions to go on when we can be of help, to be healing agents of our world.
What if every small proactive and positive thing that we do ripples out toward everything else to change our world?
Once you have diligently been practicing the new habits that lead to your great healing for eight weeks and following it up with what I talked about in blog 6, you have another gift that you can give yourself.
It’s a gift that you produce for someone else and, by doing so, create an excellent gift for your inner self.
The gift that I am talking about is to write.
You can write about your unique healing experience to help another person experiencing loneliness in the way you had.
You can write it for just one person or more. You decide. Follow your heart.
What matters is that you do it for someone else other than you. The act of helping someone else empowers you in ways that are beyond this world.
When your heart is involved in bringing healing and joy to someone else, you become doubly empowered and find strengths that you had not known about previously.
There is something powerfully empowering about being driven to do something to help someone else.
We, humans, are made this way.
We have something inside of us that awakes our will and determination when we are inspired by our desire to help someone else heal.
I was reminded of this just recently.
Every year I do a 30-day raw food cleanse. I have not been on top of it for a few years, and this last year I tried several times and did not successfully carry it out.
A month ago, my best friend and my housemate came to me and shared how scared he was about his health, that he had been experiencing pain and discomfort in various parts of his body.
He expressed maybe he should do a juice fast for a few days or so. I told him that if he did raw food eating for a month, I would do it with him.
So we did.
He has since lost all of the pains and discomfort in his body and is feeling very healthy, and we just surpassed thirty days two days ago.
I have always struggled with thirty days of raw food eating every year. I have almost always, especially at the tail end, feeling like I was missing out on real foods, leading to little cheating at the last phase.
This time, I never felt the sense of losing anything and have had a lot of fun learning about raw cooking.
I have done this because I have been trying to help my best friend heal, making various menus for him to eat.
This is the first time I did raw food cleanse to help someone I care about instead of just myself, and I never felt any sense of loss but enjoyed all the good feelings that clean eating provides.
It is most amazing what happens to us when we are doing something for someone else.
We become more creative. We become wiser. We become inspired.
I have learned so much this time around. Three days have passed now after the 30 days of cleanse, and I am still eating raw and learning new ways to prepare extremely healthy cuisine.
I am not yet prepared to give up other foods, but I am learning as much as I can about raw cooking. I am interested in learning more about the vegan diet in addition. With a vegan diet, I will be able to cook some things.
My friend’s worry was so powerful that I did something good for me with ease and inspiration instead of a drudge that I experienced every time I had done it before.
That very instinct that we have to help others move us forward in our human development. We are made this way.
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When you write about your healing journey that has taken you from experiencing that toxic, painful loneliness to an emotionally independent state, intending to help someone else, your learning and healing take on a whole other level.
Your learning deepens.
Act of writing, organizing your thoughts, pulling out of yourself more profound wisdom, and getting to see just how limitless your expanding can be is more excellent than any words can describe.
You learn more.
You learn more about how you have healed.
You learn more about how to flourish.
You gain a more profound sense of yourself and your potential.
You gain more profound self-acceptance.
You learn to see for yourself the misinformation that you have picked up.
You learn how to accept yourself unconditionally in ways that you never imagined that you could.
There are countless things that I have learned writing about my healing journey, and one of the ones that I love so much is the continual “ah-ha” moments. I am surprised again and again every time it happens to me.
Writing about my healing to share what I have learned has developed my ability to further access learning and wisdom in ways that I don’t think I fully understand. I say that because I am amazed every time more education and more understanding happens.
It has been the most fantastic gift.
I continue to learn to love myself more unconditionally.
Writing that I do to teach others what I have learned is largely responsible for my continual growth and powerful healing.
I am simply awed every time I watch myself react emotionally in ways that are new, healthy, and peaceful
I want you to experience this for yourself, again and again, as I do.
I have been on this journey for about three years, and I will never quit writing because of this and other reasons.
The educational power of writing is almost like magic. Its power is unbelievable. As I write this, I still have not grasped just how amazing my growth has been. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
You have so many beautiful reasons to write about your healing journey for others and, in the end, for yourself.
What heals the hive, heals the bee.
What if your letter that you write for that one person powerfully helps her?
What if that essay you write causes the awakening from long funk and suffering?
What if that book you write helps change countless people’s lives?
What if your unique experiences help people in ways you never imagined possible? What if?
Do you see now why writing can be so powerfully important?
Do you want to know how to start?
First, I secretly hope that you have decided to write a book. If you find yourself feeling intimidated th the idea, if you think that you cannot write a book, if that is how you feel, then you must write a book—just saying.
There is no length required.
You will write just want you want to write.
Once you have decided that you will write this book, however long, even a letter length, or an essay or a short mini-book, or a short book, or a fast read book, whichever you have decided to write, carve out a time that you will write each day, at the same time each day.
I could be one hour, two hours, three hours. (at least one hour)
First, outline how you are going to tell your story.
For example, you might want to talk about your story, how you got to a place where you had learned to feel lonely in the way that you did.
You can talk about your beliefs around it.
You can then talk about why you decided to change that and to feel better.
You can then talk about what you did that worked.
You can also talk about what you did that didn’t work.
You can talk about the powerful changes that have occurred in your life because of the self-work that you did.
You can talk about how your life has changed and is changing because of the changes that you have made in your life.
It is just that simple.
If you want to make your writing better, rewrite. Good writing is rewriting.
This blog, “How to Overcome Loneliness, part 2”, is the second part of the eight-part series to help you overcome loneliness. If you have not read the first one, please read that blog and then come back to this one.
If you don’t resolve the causes of the loneliness, you will continue to experience negative emotions that come with them. You will also remain stuck in adverse living conditions. You have had those negative conditions for so long that you don’t know how much happier you would be without them, making you miss out on being your full potential self. That means that you will continue to miss out on your true fulfillment. You will also miss out on your best possible life: the Happiness Formula.
The following are the main culprits:
1) You believe you are not lovable.
When you continue to believe you are not lovable, you will continue to allow people who are less than loving to you, confirming your already held belief that you are not. Your head knows better. You even feel guilty and foolish for putting up with people who treat you less than okay. You feel bad about the fact that you don’t treat yourself well. But as long as you do not “KNOW” in your heart, in your subconscious mind that you are, you will continue to believe that you are not, and you will not feel lovable. And when you don’t feel lovable, your less-than-self-loving-you will continue to allow those people to get into your life and remain there in the comfort of discomfort.
You will continue to feel obligated and dutiful toward those who bring you much more unhappiness than happiness by treating you in far less than kind and loving manner as they do not value you. Since you agree with those people about your value(knowingly or unknowingly), you cannot see that you deserve better.
You will continue to prematurely reject yourself from potentially positive and beneficial relationships by not entering new ones or leaving them too early avoiding potentially good and loving relationships. Doing that makes it difficult for you to truly learn how to overcome loneliness.
2) You feel not good enough, and not enough
If you don’t gain the knowledge that you are good enough, that you are enough just as you are, you will continue to downgrade yourself in too many ways.
You will continue to be prone to feeling insecure and less than others.
Others will find you overreacting to things that they do or say. You will continue to give power to others to hurt you, whether they meant to hurt you or don’t mean to hurt you.
Bullies in your life will continue to have too much power over you. Your belief that you are not enough will continue to win out and keep you under the thumb of oppressive insecurities.
You will continue to hold yourself back from trying things that will stretch and grow you and help you reach emotional, spiritual, and financial success in the way that would feed your life.
3) If you continue to stay disconnected
Not knowing who you really are, your needs, and what your wants are, you will not really know what it means for you to be happy.
You will continue to feel disconnected from your spiritual self. How could you reach for spiritual connection when you don’t even have your basic connection needs met by being in touch with your core self. How could you gain skills as to how to overcome loneliness, if you do not learn how to connect?
4) You have a negative mindset
You will continue to see life through powerfully unhealthy perspectives of thinking and feeling that most things go wrong for you.
You will spend too much of your time feeling miserable and untrusting of people, even those who may deserve your trust. Trustworthy good people will continue to leave your life feeling unseen and unappreciated leaving behind plenty of those who are not reliable and not good-intentioned, leading you to unhappy connections in your life.
The problem with this mindset is that it is very addictive. It isn’t that you are addicted to good feelings, but you become addicted to negative anxiety ridden bad feelings that lead to stress and suffering.
Your brain becomes normalized by them, and it becomes an easy ride down path, sliding lower and lower in negative states which then creates more profound and deeper roots of negative thinking and feeling habits.
This whole pattern of life is very easy to remain in if you do not change from it.
5) You are continuing not to live your purpose, not doing your life’s work.
If you are not on your life’s path, you will continue to miss out on the real fulfillment that living your purpose gives you.
There will be a deep sense of emptiness inside you, confirming the less than good feelings and esteem that you have about yourself.
You will continue to miss out on the joy that self-fulfillment can only provide. You are born to experience it. Without it, you will have a massive void in its place.
6) Not feeling whole; not being your best you.
If you continue not to feel whole, that continues to manifest adverse outcomes in all areas of your life.
Your life will remain less quality than you would want. Your relationships, career, health, success, joy, happiness, and everything will be less than you can ever want for your life.
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In the next blog, I will discuss all the benefits you will gain by freeing yourself from the causes of loneliness.
