We all sometimes feel insecure.  When we feel unsure of ourselves, and especially if we are surrounded by people who we might not quite belong with, we can end up doing things that are not quite ourselves.  Our desire to feel accepted kicks in. This desire is biological and ancient. 

When we do that, however, the act of trying to prove ourselves to others, to prove that we are worthy of being liked or loved, we actually give ourselves a very strong message that our self-doubt is right.  The reason for that is that if we are sure of ourselves we would not be needing affirmations that we are worthy of others and we will not be trying to get that affirmation from them.

“True belonging is not passive. It’s not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It’s not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it’s safer. It’s a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are” — Brene Brown

If we become accepted by people who we impress, because we impressed them in order to fit in or to be liked, we don’t truly belong to them.

The key to self-confidence and answer to those moments when you become off-balanced about your own assessment of your value is to be in the practice of valuing yourself based on your unique aspirations as a person, what you deem to be valuable and what you deem to be worthy. 

When you live your life on your own terms, living by your own ethics regarding all things, then you will not easily go to a place of doing things to impress others because people being impressed with you is not going to be important to you.