Author: Nancy
Feel better fast when you’re feeling self-doubt and feeling stuck
Are you feeling stuck, feeling down, because you feel like you are not moving forward fast enough?
- Review the situation then take a look at your exact position
- Make a list of actions steps that will powerfully change your situation
- Picture in your mind the outcome that you want(that you will have when you do those actions steps) as if it is happening right now
- Feel the feelings of the successful outcome because of the actions that you will take.
- Take the action steps on your list
How to love yourself
How to love yourself when you are feeling bad about yourself
You’re feeling bad. Something is not going your way. Someone has hurt your feelings. Someone may be rejecting you. You made a mistake that feels like a huge failure.
Whatever is going on, you are having a hard time with it and you are feeling pretty depressed. You are hurting.
You are feeling very bad about yourself about the hurtful thing that has just happened. You also know that you have a tendency to feel bad about things and be hard on yourself because you lack self-love and you are thinking that if you could only love yourself right now that much of the pain would go away, perhaps even all of the pain would go away.
You would love to know how to love yourself right now and stop the pain.
This is what I would like you to do so you could ease the pain.
If you can, take yourself to a place where you can sit looking at the beauty that you enjoy. Go to a place where you can feel safe, comfortable, and be surrounded by feelings of beauty and healing.
- Body of water
- Trees
- A coffee shop that you love being in with a cup of coffee
Then I want you to first give yourself a feeling of compassion for what you are feeling by saying with compassion the following:
- I am so sorry that you are hurting right now. You don’t deserve this feeling. I love you. I am so sorry that you are going through it.
Just keep saying it to yourself with your heart full of compassion, truly feeling compassion for yourself. Keep saying it gently and lovingly until you are feeling fully peaceful.
Next what I want you to do is to begin doing self-love actions as a practice to build the muscle of self-love and by doing the things I will be talking about that way, you will more automatically react to yourself with self love the next time other things happen because in life hurtful things happen, and also by loving yourself habitually, you are less likely to allow others to hurt you as often as you may do now.
The following are things to practice daily:
- Fall in love with your flaws.
- Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made.
- Face your fears
- Learn how to stop caring what other people think
- Learn how to trust yourself to make decisions
- Meditate
- Practice excellent self-care
- Allow yourself to be powerful
Watch the video below to get more information about loving yourself.
Turn obstacles into fuel
If you’ve been abused as a child…
I was abused as a child like you were. Based on that experience, I wasted much too much of my precious time suffering my past and not living to my fullest. Following is an excerpt from my book, Happiness Formula.
“You don’t have to lose any more of your time. You can heal and be happy. You too, can heal and change your life, your heart, and everything else that is important to you. You can do, be, and have what you want in your life by seeing and knowing and shifting how you see things in your life.
You don’t have to struggle with feelings of inadequacy. You don’t have to give up on yourself anymore. You don’t have to. You are not stuck with the current conditions of your life. You don’t have to put up with your lack: lack of self-belief, lack of self-confidence, lack of self-love, lack of self-faith, lack of self-esteem, lack of self-knowing, and lack of success in all areas of your life.
You can change and heal your life in ways that you have never imagined.
Just because you were abused, if you were, it does not mean you have to live less than an optimally successful life. Just because you might have been given less than some doesn’t mean that you need to be stuck with a lack of anything in the present moment or in your future. Just because you were told all those negative things, does not mean you are those things. In fact, because of all of those things, you can create someone extraordinary out of yourself and something extraordinary out of your life.“
I have emotional strengths and empathy that culminates into creative spirit that I am incredibly thankful to have. Without all that I have had to do and still do, I not only would not have those creative and empathetic aspects of myself but to be the person that I like and love. Without those things that I have had to fight and heal from, I would not be the person that I am today.
How to have a breakthrough in life
How to stop getting your feelings hurt
“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”
– Marcus Aurelius
I was deeply hurt by someone just recently. I mulled over it and could not stop thinking about how they did what they did, and why they did what they did, how they could do what they did, etc.
After a few days of ruminating about it more than I’d like, the words of Marcus Aurelius popped in my head. “Choose not to be harmed, and you won’t be harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.”
I suddenly realized that I had been choosing to be harmed by thinking of this person’s behavior the following way:
- As if it was personal toward me
- As if their actions reflect on my value
- As if whatever it is that they are doing means that something about my worthiness
- As if their reactions or lack thereof was a reflection on my value
- As if my having opened myself to care at a level meant something about my ability to think well, etc. I felt made a fool of for the fact that I cared.
I was choosing to be harmed, and I was afraid that I was being hurt when I was not being harmed at all. Nothing was happening to me except for my being triggered to feel destructive emotions. Those bad emotions were not what that person was doing at all but based on my interpretations and the existing fear in me, not them.
This was a significant opportunity for me to learn something valuable about myself, which needs healing and reexamining my story.
Often when someone does something that hurts our feelings, we automatically blame them and feel hurt and angry toward that person.
The truth is that when we feel something, it is useful to examine where the feelings are indeed coming from, and in most cases, the emotions are genuinely coming from ourselves.
It’s a hard one to swallow, but it is true, most of our feelings belong to us, not who we think are the perpetrators.
When we let someone else’s words or actions hurt us, and even if they were purposeful and intended to hurt us, it is still 100% our job to accept what they give to us. We could just step away from their throw, not receive the ball, and not get hit.
How to cope with anxiety
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
— Franklyn D Roosevelt
When you are met with anxiety, put to use the following powerfully effective methods!
- Surrender to the existence of the feeling
- Say, “it’s ok for that feeling to be there.”
- As soon as you say that you are actually letting yourself know that you are actually ok
- Meditate
- Be in the moment and you realize that things are really ok
- Implement self-care
- Keep hydrated well
- Eat Fresh greens and clean proteins
- Exercise
- Practice self-compassion
- Practice self-love
The Power of Now
How to heal from suffering
I grew up in a terrible household full of sufferings. I then spent too much of my adulthood, doing my best to control and prevent pain. All my attempts to control and prevent suffering from my life only caused more suffering in my life.
I was fortunate enough to learn how to use the events of the suffering to learn from them and then use them to share with others to heal from their pains.
In Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankle talks about this very thing, that when suffering happens to you, that you can use it to further your potential as a human being in ways that you never imagined.
The counter to his examples is in many who crumble at the sight of something going wrong, and they not only do not grow from the experience but also weaken from suffering.
And then when you look at people who have never really gone through conflicts and had to rise out of them, they are fragile and ready to fall.
The thing is that all of the ways people play out the emotions of these things are dependent sorely on the way they decide to look at the events and themselves and how they relate themselves to them. It is as simple as that.
I know this not just from having witnessed people and the studies that I have done. I have experienced the varying arranges of the reactions in myself, and the only difference between the person I was then who weakened due to conflicts and the person who I am now is that I now use challenges and suffering to strengthen myself.
I can personally attest to the fulfillment and joy that I experience living a life practicing the ladder mode.