Author: Nancy
How to stop being bitter about your breakup
How to ease the pain of a broken heart
How to overcome rejection like a Kick-Ass Ninja
Rejection sucks! That’s what an average Joe thinks but you are not an average Joe. You are your own thinker with an intelligent mind. You deserve to see things in your own way. When you allow yourself to think through things in your own way with a goal of finding the truth, you will feel completely different about this thing called, “Rejection.” You might even come to welcome it because you will see that it can offer you an amazing gift.
Let’s jump right in shall we?
You were rejected. Whatever the rejection was, your hurt feelings are based on a bald-faced lie.
The lies are based on the false narrative that you have been in the practice of telling yourself about yourself your whole life. You are wasting your precious time and your precious energy by buying into it.
Your bad feelings are not based on the truth of what happened to you. It is what you think happened to you that makes you feel bad. Do you like wasting time feeling bad about something based on a lie that you accepted? Would you feel worse, if that lie was told by yourself? Does that feel like time well spent? Is it worth the health, joy and life’s success that you lose in bits or sometimes in great amounts just because you have lied to yourself about an incident? I am going to assume the answer to all these questions is “NO.”
Our brains love to fabricate stories. Dopamine is released when we make up stories and we tell stories so automatically and fast that we instantly believe them as we tell them to ourselves.
The truth is you can and will never really know what that person meant, even if they told you what they meant. In the absence of the person’s explanation of the rejection, you in hyper-speed tell yourself what it meant based on assumed thoughts, often based on your pre-assessed sense of WHO YOU ARE.
Again, know that all of this assessing the meaning, telling of lies, takes place at lightning speed so that you do not have any way of knowing that your feelings are based on an inaccurate and false narrative of your choosing. “What do I do,” you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
I give you the most effective weapon to battle and win, each and every time, Kick-Ass Ninjas! Your weapon of choice is your Brain! “What?” you might say to me with that, “you just lost me”-look. Just hold on a minute, because you are worth the wait and the investment of realizing your personal empowerment.
I just told you that your brain was the culprit. Now I am saying your brain is the answer. I am not contradicting myself here. It is the truth and it is a testament of how wonderful and powerful your brain is.
Let’s just kick this into gear. Your brain loves Socratic Puzzles. It really does. So this is what you do. You ask questions to your own mind expecting the real truth and watch your brain do its amazing work that you will be proud to witness. Your brain will find you the truth. It really will.
So you get rejected. You acknowledge the event then watch the bad feelings come over you and ask, “What story did I just tell myself about what happened?” I used to write down the questions and then write down the answers that came to me. I had practiced it for so long that now I just do it in my head and feel better pretty quickly.
When you write down an answer and you need more answers, ask a question again, “What story am I telling myself about that(the previous answer)? What meaning am I telling myself it to mean? What does that mean about me? Is the meaning I’ve just said, the truth? And so on until you have nothing but facts. When you go through that process, each and every time, you will come to see that your negative feelings came from your negative assessment, the negative assessment based on NO FACT.
For me, I often find that the bad feelings come from the same or similar final thought, that my brain speed to the conclusion that, I was not enough or that I was not worthy of love. By the end of writing down questions and answers, when I get to the part where I ask, “What does that mean?” I discover that my thought was that I was not enough or that I was not worthy of love, I then asked, “am I worthy of love?” or ”am I enough?” and the answer that I consciously let myself know is that “I am worthy of love” or “I am enough.”
The truth that is constant and unchanging is that you are worthy of love ALWAYS. And you are enough, ALWAYS!
In closing, I invite you to go through this process each and every time you feel rejected. Give your all to it as if you are worth everything. The truth is, YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING!
How to let go and stop ruminating
How to overcome deep loneliness
How to find a good relationship
How to leave a toxic relationship
Art of forgiving
“Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.” – Albert Einstein