“The best revenge is to never be like them” — Marcus Aurelius
Narcissists are well known for their ability to play mind games, gaslighting you by expertly managing to get you to blame yourself for what they did wrong and pouring on you, word salad that ends up successfully confusing you. You being a person who expects the other person to talk fair, can easily get roped into the endless arguments and end up feeling exhausted and helpless afterward.
If you have been struggling with a narcissist ex who gets you roped into this type of mental game and you have been losing(everybody does), then read on.
We’ve all done it. We have all had arguments with unreasonable people who cannot and will not argue fairly. Narcissists are not just trying to win an argument. Their goal is to put you off balance where you will emotionally fall on your face. They enjoy the game of making you feel at your worst. They feel empowered when they are able to do that to you. That is their end goal. There is only one way to win such a game. It is to not play. You not only lose the game every time, but you also lose something far more precious: your time and your energy.
The following are the ways that you win at the game that your narcissist ex plays. By doing the following, you will also win your best life.
- Do not argue with the narcissist ex (You have no control over what they think or say or do. You will waste your time and energy)
- Don’t try to prove them wrong or set them straight.
- Don’t try to get them to understand you.
- Don’t try to understand them.
- Don’t try to figure out why or what they are saying or why or what they are doing.
- Don’t put weight on anything and everything that they say or do.
- Put your focus and energy on your life (things that are worthy of your time, effort and energy)
- Who you are being
- Your life’s work
- Your self-care
- Your growth
- Your happiness
- Your goals in life
- Getting to know yourself
By refusing to play their games, you are choosing you and by choosing you, you win every time!