How to best deal with the loneliness after a breakup – advice from a life coach.

When someone close to you is gone from your life, the loss is painful.  When a romantic partner is gone from your life, the loss can be far more intense.

Here are six things that you can do to overcome the loneliness that you are going through from a broken heart.

1. Decide to learn about yourself and grow from this experience
   1. Carol Dweck in her book, “Mindset” talks about the people who heal powerfully versus people who remain hurt for years and years.  The ones that heal powerfully most often look inward after a breakup to see what they could learn about themselves so that they do not repeat the same mistake with their next partner.  Their goal is to heal and find happiness and they heal and find happiness.
2. If you have a support system that you trust, share with them what you are going through
   1. Some people may lose connection with their support network while in a relationship, especially if it was a controlling or abusive one.  This is a time for you to work on reconnecting with your tribe to find yourself back again with those who truly care about you.  
   2. If you do not have a group that you trust, begin building and nurturing a tribe of your own.
3. Have an adventure
   1. Do something that allows you to stretch your image of you.  When you take on something that you had been intimidated by, it can let you see a new dimension about you so that you can gain self-appreciation
4. Seek out people who inspire you.
   1. Instead of drowning in self-pity that everyone can get into during this time, surround yourself with voices of people who when you are around them or listening to their talks or reading their words, elevates your aspirations to lead you to reach for self-growth.
5. Help someone in the way that you love helping someone
   1. If you are serving soup in a soup kitchen, you might be a person that gets touched by that experience but you may not be.  I love helping people heal emotionally so when I am helping someone with their emotional wounds, I am inspired. But for you, it might be teaching someone how to paint, play music, play baseball.  Whatever it is that you like teaching or helping people do, do that.
6. Get a breakup coach
   1. If you’re having a hard time doing it alone, hire a breakup coach(life coach who specializes in healing heartbreaks) so that you can actively work on healing yourself.

Finally, what you need to know is that it is up to you, how long the lonely period lasts or how fast you heal.  Be patient with yourself as you move up and down through the emotional roller coasters and know that if you do the right type of work, you will gain powerful stuff from this lonely experience after a heartbreak.